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BASE BALL RETURNS TO MACKINAC By Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski
“Ninety feet between bases is perhaps as close as man has ever gotten to perfection”.
- Red Smith
Mackinac Island, MI - Rochester’s specialists in ballistic arts lately ventured to the diminutive isle of Mackinac for a base ball exhibition against the hometown Never Sweats. Responding to another invitation from local icon and plenipotentiary Phil “Pops” Porter, the Grangers reacquainted themselves with the tiny archipelago situated at the confluence of Lakes Michigan and Huron, disembarking with the scent of fudge tickling their olfactory sensibilities. It was evident the Mackinac Captain had finely rehearsed and well schooled his charges for this season’s affair, anxious as they were to improve upon last year’s 25 -14 shortfall. Included amongst their number were notorious mercenary John “Ratso” Hiller and some others of similarly rumored motive and bent. The Grangers, who had won three of four previous meetings in the series, featured a somewhat depleted deployment as several members of the corps were waylaid in their arrival by farm and familial engagements. Among the missing was this reporter, to whom game accounts were transmitted by wire as Jackson “Moonbeam” Otlewski made his debut on the mainland. Contributing to the visitors’ concerns were recent afflictions suffered by Bob “Piller” Lytle and Bob “Roadblock” Grace, whose maneuvers were impeded by respective visitations of lumbago and the grippe. After preliminaries which included musical accompaniment by the Northwind Brass, exercises began under a cloudless azure canopy. Given preference as the host club, the Never Sweats were circumspect in their selection of horsehide for the contest, mindful of the long distance bludgeoning administered by the Rochesters during last year’s event. Captain Patrick “Barnraiser” McKay was visibly nonplussed by the model proferred for the Umpire’s approval, which featured all the consistency of boiled eggplant. Owing to its malleable condition the spheroid resisted all but herculean thrust, foretelling modest base path perambulation and meager talllykeeping campanology throughout. With the score deadlocked at one to one in the seventh inning, the Mackinacs managed to tally a pair of aces via well placed daisy cutters, taking what appeared to be a commanding three to one advantage. Yet as so often their custom, the suspendered stalwarts summoned their ginger and mounted a rally of their own in the eighth, knotting the score at three all. With the partisan cranks cheering every move, the match was decided on a seeing eye bounder by Bill “Hoot” Anderson, who plated an ace in the ‘Sweats last at bat to give the hometowners a hard fought four to three triumph. Ever the gentlemen, the Grangers graciously offered their congratulations to their hosts, many of whom had displayed conspicuous mastery of the rudiments of the game. After a well fashioned postprandial respite, the Rochesters made their way by starlight back to the mainland for the long carriage ride homeward, consoled by their efforts as ambassadors of the game and assured of their station in the base ball firmament.
Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski contributed this Granger update in the writing style used in the late 1800s.
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