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 BASE BALL RETURNS TO MACKINAC

                                                                         By Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski

 

                                                            “Ninety feet between bases is perhaps as

                                                          close as man has ever gotten to perfection”.

 

                                                                                                             - Red Smith

            

            Mackinac Island, MI -  Rochester’s specialists in ballistic arts lately ventured to  the diminutive isle of Mackinac for a base ball exhibition against the hometown Never Sweats.  Responding to another invitation from local icon and plenipotentiary Phil “Pops” Porter,  the Grangers reacquainted  themselves with the tiny archipelago situated at the confluence of Lakes Michigan and Huron, disembarking with the scent of fudge tickling their olfactory sensibilities.

            It  was evident  the Mackinac Captain  had  finely rehearsed and well  schooled his  charges  for  this  season’s  affair,   anxious as  they  were  to  improve upon last  year’s

25 -14  shortfall.  Included amongst  their number  were notorious mercenary John “Ratso” Hiller and some  others of similarly rumored motive and bent.  The Grangers, who had won three of four previous meetings in the series, featured a somewhat depleted deployment as several members of the corps were waylaid in their arrival by farm and familial engagements.  Among the missing was this reporter, to whom game accounts were transmitted by wire as Jackson “Moonbeam” Otlewski made his debut  on the mainland.  Contributing to the visitors’ concerns  were recent afflictions suffered by  Bob “Piller” Lytle and Bob “Roadblock” Grace, whose  maneuvers were impeded by  respective visitations of  lumbago and the grippe.                                  

            After preliminaries which included musical accompaniment by the Northwind Brass,

exercises began under a cloudless azure canopy.  Given preference as  the host club, the Never Sweats were circumspect in their selection of horsehide for the contest, mindful of the long distance bludgeoning  administered by the Rochesters during last year’s event.  Captain Patrick “Barnraiser” McKay was visibly nonplussed by the  model proferred for the  Umpire’s approval, which featured all the consistency of  boiled eggplant.  Owing to its malleable condition the spheroid resisted all but  herculean thrust, foretelling  modest  base path perambulation and meager talllykeeping campanology throughout.

             With the score deadlocked at one to one in the seventh inning, the Mackinacs managed  to tally a pair of  aces via well placed daisy cutters, taking what appeared to be a commanding  three to one advantage.  Yet as so often  their custom, the suspendered stalwarts summoned their ginger and mounted a rally of their own in the eighth, knotting the score at three all.   With the partisan cranks cheering every move, the match was  decided  on a  seeing eye bounder by Bill “Hoot” Anderson, who plated an  ace in the ‘Sweats last at bat  to give the hometowners a hard fought four to three triumph.

             Ever the gentlemen, the Grangers graciously offered their congratulations to their hosts, many of whom had displayed conspicuous mastery of the rudiments of the game.  After a well fashioned postprandial respite, the Rochesters made their way by starlight back to the mainland  for the long carriage ride homeward, consoled by their efforts as ambassadors of the game and assured of  their station in the base ball firmament.

           

                Granger Grist

Before professionals entered the game, an umpire was rarely called upon to render judgment unless asked to do so by the team captains.

 

 

 

  

            Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski contributed this Granger update in the writing style used in the late 1800s. 

 

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