Rochester Grangers on Mackinac Island 2005

GRANGERS ENJOY SOJOURN ON MACKINAC ISLAND

By Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski/Special to Suburban Lifestyles

Mackinac Island, MI - The Rochester Grangers lately made their annual return to Fort Mackinac to engage the Never Sweats in a gentlemanly demonstration of the game of base ball. Disembarking on the diminutive isle nestled at the confluence of Lakes Michigan and Huron, the Grangermen were immediately struck by the fanfare and partisan fervor on display for the upcoming match. Perhaps still smarting from last year’s 9-5 defeat at the hands of the Rochesters, the islanders were keen to reprise their only win in the series and even the ledger at two games apiece.

The Grangers, arriving by carriage, caravan and flotilla throughout the day, had their own ideas. Forewarned by their incendiary mahatma Patrick “Barnraiser” McKay to avoid all manner of fudge or sweet confection upon arrival, the visitors’ resolve was sorely tested by the sights and smells of the Main Street vendors. Eschewing same, the Grangers made their way to the fort at the appointed hour, ready to test themselves against the well-schooled islander nine.

After a rousing preparatory serenade by the Northwind Brass, a large and boisterous throng settled into their seats to enjoy an exhibition of the nation’s newest pastime. Practitioners of the art included Mackinac Co-Captains William “Hoot” Anderson and John “Ratso” Hiller, the latter a hurler of prodigious skill but questionable character, having again failed to rebut “paid for hire” rumors surrounding his appearance. On hand for the match were a goodly number of cranks from Rochester and its environs, including first-rate base ball enthusiasts Randy and Valarie Boss, who were making their trek to the diamond in-the-straits for the third year in a row. Umpire John Soma was conspicuous in his robin-breasted vestments, instructing the spectators on the finer points of the game while levying fines against ballists who dared violate his prohibition against spitting, sliding and cursing. As a prelude to the match, a new ditty featuring more pomp than circumstance was intoned by a lone fifeman, a practice the fort commander believes has promise for the future. Indeed, the juxtaposition of the game of base ball and “The Star-Spangled Banner” may yet prove to be a satisfying marriage, if either ever catches on in the public eye.

The match began under blue skies with lilting breezes filling the ships’ sails visible from the striker’s line. The men who don the red and black, having won the toss of the bat, chose to strike first. The Rochester lads wasted little time commencing their attack, propelling the mottled orb time and again into distant corners of the grounds. Fine strikes were made by Mike “Cueball” Johnson, Craig “Slappy” Prasatek and Bob “Anvil” Wynne, the latter having launched a home run such a distance that it lodged under Bruce “Boy Wonder” Lynn’s house in right, allowing the slugger the luxury of a refreshment stop at third as he made his way around the bases. Perhaps the most prodigious blow of the inning was a sacks-loaded home run by Scott “Chooch” Westgate, a majestic clout that sailed over the head of the left field scout beyond the carriage trail, finally coming to rest near a cannon where it was mistaken by a startled soldier for incoming fire.

Trailing 7-0 after the initial onslaught, the Mackinacs dusted themselves off and immediately showed their mettle by commencing a fusillade of their own. Sharply hit blows by Bill “The Cat“ Fritz, Brad “Bubba” Chambers and local legend Phil “Pops” Porter punctuated their first inning response, capped by a home run by Congressman Bart “Stretch” Stupak. After a single action-packed inning, the score stood Grangers 7, Never Sweats 6, and Infirmary Wagon 2, with a pair of ballists applying ice to noggins maimed by smashes too hot to handle.

With both nines applying the lumber in equal measure, tally keepers Mrs. Remer and Mrs. Howarth were seen furiously flinging parchment and quill in an effort to keep up with the rain of aces. After three innings, the ledger stood 13-12 in favor of the Grangers, with no sign of offensive abatement. Yet, as is their custom, the Grangers faced the challenge and were in fact poised to deliver the knockout blow. Striking with the speed of a cobra and the fury of a sledgehammer, the Grangers pounded across 11 aces in the next two innings on a combination of long hits and daisy cutters, grabbing a 24-12 advantage. The Granger battery of Lytle and Lytle (“Piller” the elder and “Slider” the younger) held the locals in check during this interval, while stifling defense was applied to take the steam out of the Sweats. When at last a final 25-14 Rochester victory was announced, this correspondent was moved sua sponte to deliver a poem memorializing the event:

Following the match the Grangers enjoyed a fine repast of corn fritters and mash at Mary’s Bistro, whereupon they repaired for the traditional celebration at Patrick Sinclair’s Irish Pub. With their season’s record standing at 9 victories against 2 losses, the Grangers continue their exercises with upcoming matches at Greenfield Village, Douglas, Michigan, and the Ohio Cup. As always, the ballists invite the townsfolk to see base ball the way it was meant to be played, by gentlemen for fresh air and enjoyment, according to the rules of 1864.

Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski contributed this Granger update in the writing style used in the late 1800s.


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