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GRANGERS RETURN TO MACKINAC ISLAND By Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski/Special to Suburban Lifestyles |
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“Come on ballists, run the base, Leg it, leg it, make an ace!” -Mackinac cranks cheer Mackinac, MI - The Rochester Grangers lately traveled by raft and caravan to the tiny island of Mackinac to reprise their annual rivalry with the hometown Never Sweats Base Ball Club. On a soft July afternoon the Rochester's returned to the diamond situated in the shadows of venerable Fort Mackinac to contest the rubber match in the series against the plucky islanders. The previous match, a cat-and-mouse affair won by the Never Sweats by a tally of 4 to 3, had touched off a celebration by the townsfolk last year that by all appearances had continued unabated. Mackinac Captain Phil “Pops” Porter, who had reportedly declined an appointment by acclamation as mayor, was on hand to greet the Grangers and their families as they disembarked. Amidst an atmosphere politely described as partisan, the visitors quietly displayed a countenance fixed on expiating the terms of yesteryear’s performance. As the starting time approached, Patrick “Barnraiser” McKay, the Grangers’ flammable field marshal, was overheard during field exercises delivering these words of strategy: “Play for the love of the game men, or not at all!” Striking first, the Grangers went nimbly to their task. Featuring a barrage of daisy cutters, the Rochesters tallied an ace in the first inning, followed by a half dozen in the second off Never Sweats hurler John “Ratso” Hiller. Taking an early 7 to 1 advantage, some Grangers took a jaundiced view of Mr. Hiller’s rumored status as a “professional,” a notion the hurler took no pains to disabuse. At one juncture he was flung groundward in avoidance of a well-struck Rochester missile, appearing discombobulated by the encounter. The visitor’s margin reached its acme in the fourth stanza, with only sterling fieldsmanship on the part of the islanders staving off greater damage. With legmen on first and second sacks, Bob “Anvil” Wynne stalked and toed the striker’s line. Doing justice to his nickname, the Granger strongman hammered a mortar shot to deepest right field. Off at the crack of the bat was Mackinac center field scout Craig “The Kid” Knaffle, who hurdled a roped barrier, four guardsmen patrolling the Fort perimeter, and a moat before corralling the mottled orb. His precision relay to “Pops” Porter, who in turn fired to Tim “The Marketeer” Putman at the behind, was just in time to retire Mr. Wynne, who was apparently slowed by a pool of quicksand rounding third and unable to make his home run.Shrugging off the malaise of a seven ace deficit, the locals assayed a comeback, posting single tallies in the sixth and seventh frames to trim the Granger margin to 9 to 4. Thereupon, Umpire John “Cowpie” Soma momentarily stayed the match for an impromptu poetry reading offered by this correspondent. Having previously been fined a day’s wages by the arbiter for an impertinent roll of his shirtsleeves, the ubiquitous Mike “Cueball” Johnson was the subject: “ODE TO CUEBALL” Cueball, Cueball gives hurlers the shakes When striking the ball what a sound your bat makes. Your play at third sack and strength of your bat Make up for your wardrobe, which still lacks a hat. The glare off your head is a distraction you know A strange example to your little son Moe. ‘Tho you look quite ferocious the gist of this poem Is your sweetness to children when signing your dome.
With daylight dwindling and ships’ lanterns from the Straits flickering, the Mackinacs continued to be stymied by the outfield maneuvers of Bob “Roadblock” Grace and Steve “Fishbone” Jolin. Cutting off the Sweats’ rally in the ninth at a single ace, the Grangers finally pulled the shade on a 9 to 5 victory, thereby securing a two to one advantage in the series. With the salutatory strains of the Northwind Brass still wafting in the air, the Grangers and their families were treated to victuals at Mary’s Bistro, compliments of the Never Sweats. A final salute was delivered to a hearty band of Grangers at Patrick Sinclair’s, a local quaffing establishment, where the men in red and black were greeted with a hearty “Huzzah!” upon arrival. Douglas “Moonlight” Otlewski contributed this Granger update in the writing style used in the late 1800s.
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